


We're All Dead Anyway

by AmazonDjinn



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/M, ME3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-04
Updated: 2015-02-04
Packaged: 2018-03-10 10:48:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3287474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmazonDjinn/pseuds/AmazonDjinn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard can't even share a drink with a friend without death interrupting. Leave it to Garrus to laugh at the idea that death could ever come between him and Shepard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Some time after Thesia in ME3, Shepard receives an email about Kal'Reegar's death. In said email, he refused to let the Turians send aid to his squad when he said, "we're all dead anyway."

First Earth, then Palaven, now Thesia; it felt like Shepard was running out of comfort for her friends. After spending a significant amount of time with Liara, she trudged to the lounge, hoping to spend a few drinks alone. But Tali was already at the bar. She thought about turning to leave, but realized that she didn’t want to be alone at the moment.

“Mind if I join you?” Shepard asked as she made her way behind the bar.

“It’s your ship, Shepard.”

“Today just wasn’t a good day,” Shepard began, as she rummaged through the liquor cabinet looking for something non-dextro. Were Tali and Garrus the only ones who drank on this ship?

Tali was shuffling a bottle of Turian brandy back and forth across the bar, but it didn’t look like she was drinking anything. “There was only one reaper on Rannoch, and we were able to take it down. But what we saw on Thesia…” she trailed off to look up at Shepard, “Is that what it was like on Earth?”

“Worse,” was Shepard’s dry response as she finally found something a human could drink.

Tali shook her head and went back to pushing the bottle around on the bar. “How are we supposed to beat them?”

“Persistence,” was the reply, without hesitation. “Are you going to drink that, or just keep pushing it around like a hockey puck?”

“A what?”

“Sorry, hockey is a very old human sport,” Shepard smiled. “It’s still pretty popular in Vancouver, where Alliance HQ is… Was,” she corrected herself. Shepard took a sip of her drink and then moved around the bar to sit next to Tali. 

Their omni-tools pinged at the same time; which couldn’t have been a good sign. Tali was much faster at opening the message, and her sudden shift in body language definitely meant bad news.

“Oh no… No, no, no, no… No, not Kal…” Tali said.

“What? What’s happened?” Shepard asked as she quickly scanned the message. It was an ANN alert about a troop of Quarian marines, led by Kal’Reegar, were killed in action while repairing and protecting a turian comm tower. “Oh, Tali, I’m so sorry about Kal.”

“I need to get to a terminal so I can tell his family,” she mumbled as she stumbled off the bar stool, trying to make her way to the door. 

“Tali wait,” Shepard grabbed her arm.

“…Then I’ll probably need to get with Admiral Xen to see if we can get a replacement team out there. That relay is too important to lose…”

“Stop!” Shepard yelled as she firmly, but gently pulled Tali back toward her. She grabbed both sides of Tali’s helmet to hold her still, “Tali, take a minute to process what you just read,” she said as gently as she could. Two glowing specs looked back at her, and before she knew it, Tali had practically collapsed in her arms.

Shepard moved them to the couch and held her friend while she cried over her lost love. Shepard could feel the tears stinging her own eyes as she listened to Tali’s sobs; but she refused to let them fall. They sat like that until Tali calmed down and began to talk.

“When you met Kal on Haestrom, we weren’t together. I was just grateful that there was someone who trusted me enough to let me be point after what happened on Freedom’s Progress. When he walked into the bunker after you, it felt like my heart leapt out of my chest. But it wasn’t until after he spoke up for me during my trial that we became close.”

Tali adjusted herself on the couch so she was curled up with her head in Shepard’s lap. “After we survived the Omega-4, and the Alliance hauled you off, I went back to the Flotilla. Just before I was made an Admiral, he and I…” Tali paused for a moment to hold back a sob. “He was the first person I linked suits with, Shepard. He was my first love, and we never even got the chance to have a life together. He’ll never set foot on our home world because of this damn war!”

The sobbing began again, and all Shepard could do to comfort Tali was to stroke her helmet. She felt helpless – again. Her friend’s world had been rocked in an unimaginable way, and there wasn’t a thing she could do about it. Shepard had only heard Tali mention Kal in passing or if she was giving an update on Quarian forces. She was so mum about him that Shepard hadn’t even known they were together until a few minutes ago.

But Tali had told her about how they started out as teammates, covered each other in fire fights, and how he even stood up to the Admiralty Board in Tali’s honor. It reminded her of another friend, which made her angry.

This time, however, she wasn’t angry at the reapers: She was upset with herself for having pushed Garrus away. Garrus who had volunteered to join her crazy ride from the very beginning; Garrus who followed her, without question, after she pulled him off Omega and through the Omega-4 relay; Garrus who left a high ranking position in the Turian military to join Shepard as she bounced around the galaxy playing peacemaker. Garrus, who she realized she loved when she saw him on Menae for the first time in over 6 months. Garrus, who when he asked if she’d had enough time to label their relationship, she replied no. Garrus, the one fucking person in this whole damn galaxy who has always had her back – from Alliance to Cerberus and back again. Garrus.

“EDI?”

“Yes, Shepard?”

“Have someone from engineering bring Tali’s personal effects, and some dextro rations, to Life Support. Then run a de-con cycle so Tali can have a sanitized environment to take off her mask.”

“Of course, Shepard.”

“Make it quick, EDI. Let me know when it’s ready.”

“Right away.”

“Thank you, Shepard,” Tali sniffed. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t you dare apologize for having feelings, Tali’Zorah vas Normandy. We’ve all lost someone important to us because of the reapers. That doesn’t make it any easier, but know you aren’t alone in your grief.”

Tali sat up, “If I don’t vent my suit, I might drown in all these tears like Taleen’Arya vas Neba.”

“Who?”

“We’ve really got to work on your vid watching, Shepard,” Tali said, as she made her way to the bar to grab the Turian brandy. “For good measure,” she said as she held it close to her.

“Shepard, Life Support has been decontaminated and is ready for Tali.”

“Thank you, EDI,” Tali replied.

“Tali,” EDI paused, “I am sorry for your loss.”

“Me too,” Tali said as she made her way to the door. “Thanks, Shepard, for everything.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Hey Garrus…”

“Shepard,” he interrupted, “I’m glad you stopped by. I just heard from my dad and sister. They made it off Palaven. Sol’s got a broken leg and Dad’s got some scrapes and bruises, but other than that they’re fine.”

“That’s great news, Garrus! Must be a relief to finally know they’re safe.”

“It is,” he said, but there was something off in his voice and demeanor. 

“But?”

He looked up at his screen then back down at the console and heaved a great sigh, “Nothing. I think this war is taking its toll on me is all.”

“I’m glad to hear some good news today,” Shepard said as she stepped up closer to him. “After the shit storm on Thesia, and Tali getting the news that Kal had been killed in action, it’s nice to know that someone has made it to safety.”

“The Primarch told me about Reeger and his squad, but I didn’t know he and Tali were…”

“Neither did I until a little while ago,” Shepard said. 

“How’d she take it?”

“There was some legitimate concern about how many tears her helmet could hold,” they both tried to laugh, but the sound was mirthless. Both shuffled awkwardly until finally Shepard spoke.

“She’s the reason I came to see you.”

“Oh?” Garrus, asked, shifting his position so he could face her.

“We’re soldiers, you and I. We both enlisted as soon as we were able and have been in combat ever since. The possibility of death awaits us each time we step off that shuttle, and sometimes even when we are just trying to enjoy a nice meal on the Citadel,” she added with a smirk. Which won her a mandible flare in return.

“It’s not entirely out of the question that one of us could receive an email like that someday,” she continued, voice dropping. “Seeing Tali react to that news made me realize what a fool I’ve been, Garrus. Back on the Presidium, when you asked about us, I panicked. I was still reeling from having lost Mordin and Thane, and almost having to shoot Kaidan. At the time, it felt like too many people that I cared about were dying, and I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you too.”

“Shepard,” Garrus stepped closer and reached out to stroke Shepard’s face, “You can’t lose me.”

“That’s not true. None of us are untouchable, Garrus,” she leaned into his touch and those burning tears from earlier began to fall. 

“I know, for a fact, that you’ll never get a message like that about me.”

“No you don’t,” she almost cried, but kept some semblance of control.

“On the Citadel, home to millions of people, you found me when you were on the hunt for Saren. You pulled me out of a dead end job and opened my eyes. When I had dug myself into a hole on Omega, you came back from the dead and pulled my ass out of the fire. I’m sure I’d have taken a missile to the face regardless, but you were there and it saved my life. I took all that I’d learned from you and turned it into something that could help my people. When the reapers overwhelmed us on Menae, you showed up, yet again, and have kept me safe ever since.”

He stroked her hair with one hand and put the other hand around her waist to pull her closer. “You always manage to save me, Shepard. I’ve got no reason to think that’s going to change any time soon.”

She laughed and sobbed at the same time, “I don’t deserve such unwavering faith, Garrus.”

“Of course you do. And I’ll give you as much time as you need to make up your mind about us.”

Shepard carressed the sensitive skin beneath his fringe as their foreheads came to rest together. "No Shepard without Vakarian," she whispered before leaning up to place a kiss in the spot where her forehead just was.


End file.
